Numb

"Why don't the newscasters cry when they read about people who die?

At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in their eyes"

Jack Johnson 

The number of violent acts the average American child sees on TV by the age of 18 is 200,000, and the average number of murders witnessed by children on television by age 18 is 16,000. I'm older than 18 and am willing to bet those statistics are pretty accurate in my life. I've watched Bones, Taken, CSI, and on and on and on. I'm not here to say I don't enjoy those shows because they are entertaining. Who doesn't like hearing Liam Neeson say "...what I do have are a very particular set of skills" and then watch him risk his life to save his daughter. Great story. I know, I watched it.

What I realized today was that I have become numb to reality. Mostly like Jack Johnson's song. Why don't the newscasters cry? Why don't I cry when I hear stories of girls sold into the sex trade. Why don't I cry when humans die because they were hungry? Why don't I cry when I hear of mass genocides? Why don't I cry when I hear that the average American spends $749.51 on Christmas alone and 37% of the world won't make that in a year? I get sad about these things, and I feel moved. But shouldn't it break my heart. Should I not be moved to physical pain and action. Yet so many things just blow by unnoticed. It's not only the violence.

The other thing is the American materialism. So many commercials and watching people live in excess, myself included. I don't buy a ton of stuff and don't really think the commercials have that much effect on me, but what I've found that they do do is they make greed and consumerism acceptable. We can justify buying stuff because it's normal. I don't have as much as so and so, so I can buy this shirt even though I already have 20 other shirts in my closet. We justify it and encourage it. This past year I was at a women's retreat and after the retreat, this a frequent occurrence, all the women go shopping. Again, myself included. I bought a pair of shoes and two shirts. None of which I needed. The more and more I think about this, the more and more I feel convicted. The shopping is not my issue. My issue is that while at the retreat, there was a basket where they were collecting money for Samaritan's Purse. And I spent more money on myself shopping than I did to help people out.

I don't say all of this to judge you, or because I feel anymore superior. Please know that this has been on my mind. And it bothers me greatly, and that is why I'm writing. And I'm not writing this to get it off my chest and then continue on living just as I lived before. I don't honestly know every way in which I'll change, but the first step I plan to take is cutting out TV for now. I truly feel like I need to cleanse myself in order to see things afresh. So here's to my journey and process of cleaning out and building up.